Lola Davina

My name is Lola Davina.

I worked in the sex industry over a fifteen-year period, as a stripper, dominatrix, porn actor, and escort. 

I wrote Thriving in Sex Work: Heartfelt Advice for Staying Sane in the Sex Industry to offer the self-care advice I wished I'd had back when I was working to cope with all the ways the sex industry made me feel: good, bad, beautiful, ugly, stupid, smart, rich, poor, exposed, invisible, fabulous, and powerless. This book is written for working practitioners, to take care of yourself so that your body is healthy, your mind is clear, and you’re excited about your next sex work adventures. 

About Thriving in Sex Work

A self-help book for sex workers

Sex work is “easy money?” Hardly. The adult industry is riddled with pitfalls and dangers. Erotic labor is often emotionally demanding, draining, and complex. It can be hard to know who to turn to for advice on keeping yourself safe and sane. Thriving provides the life skills you need to prosper, including:

  • Cultivating friendships, community, and romance
  • Mastering money
  • Debunking sex industry myths such as you have to be flawless, or clients hate to hear “no”
  • Avoiding trigger states, like loneliness, fatigue, boredom, anxiety and depression, that lead to bad decision-making and burnout
  • Surviving bad calls, shifts, and shoots — and so much more…

Thriving in sex work means having a healthy body, mind, heart, and bank account. No matter your job title or gender, whether you’re independent or work for someone else, if you want to succeed in sex work, this book is for you. Read selected exerpts of Thriving in Sex Work here.

 

buy the book


Listen for FREE

Lola reads selected chapters-- FREE on iTunes & Soundcloud.

Lola reads selected chapters--

FREE on iTunes & Soundcloud.

About Me

I've spent more than 25 years in and around the sex industry, working as a stripper, dominatrix, porn actress, and escort over a fifteen-year period. I earned an M.A. in Human Sexuality and an M.S. in Nonprofit Fundraising, and write a self-care and wellness column for YNOTcam.com

Read my full bio here:

Bio

Master+Lisa+Keating+Headshot.jpg

Testimonials

I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH!!

Lola Davina brings the insight, advice and compassion that only a centered, wise, experienced sex work veteran can cultivate and gather: her insider knowledge makes this book both a powerful ally to any sex worker who wants a better life, and also a resource to help civilians lose those preconceived notions of what the work is (and can be) really all about. Fierce, smart, pragmatic and loving. I CAN’T RECOMMEND IT HIGHLY ENOUGH.
— Carol Queen, PhD Author, founding director of the Center for Sex & Culture, and 99% retired sex worker
Oh Lola! Your book is amazing!
I truly felt good reading what you wrote. Your advice is good for those of us in the sex industry, but also for all of us humans with all our quirks and struggles. THANK YOU!!
— KJ.
Seriously, woman— I feel like you wrote this book for me... It’s not just a book, but a LIFESAVER!
— Mrs. QP
Your brilliant book is the most insightful and helpful book on sex work I have read, after almost two decades off-and-on [in the biz.] THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT!
— Bethany Ravenwood
CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW DEADLY AMAZING THIS BOOK IS.

I laughed, I cried, I said ‘Aha’ and ‘Oh good god, I’m not the only one!’ I highly recommend it to all sex workers.
— Miss Kate The Goddess
THIS BOOK SETS A NEW STANDARD OF UNDERSTANDING for both those inside and outside the sex working industries. It’s going to mean the world to many, many sex workers and the people who support and love them. Brava!!
— Rory Aiken
‘Thriving’ needs to be read by all sex workers out there. This book is REAL because Lola has REAL knowledge, it is REAL advice. FANTASTIC.
— Mistress Juicy Jules
Your book was a gem for me when I was so burnt out. IT WAS WONDERFUL TO KNOW I’M NOT ALONE!
— Kiera King
I read this book in less than two days because I could NOT put it down! There is a wealth of guidance and information in it that is priceless. YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED!
— Felon von Feuer
THIS BOOK IS OUTSTANDING. Even if you’re a fin dom who doesn’t see your work as sex work, all of the safety and self-care information is on point. FIVE STARS.
— Goddess Hera
THIS BOOK BLEW ME AWAY! The experienced author eloquently took the words out of my mouth. I can hear her voice in her writing, very comforting and reassuring and REAL. I was expecting it to be rather sassy, but it was so loving, compassionate, meaningful, deep layers.... Just like a book specializing in sex and disabilities, this book specializes in self-care for sex workers, but it can easily be applied to larger groups of people who seek balance, health and happiness. RECOMMENDING AS MUCH AS I CAN!”
— Kendra Holliday
Your book is GIVING ME LIFE!
— Honey Squeeze
Reading ‘Thriving in Sex Work’ again because I need a fire under my ass for motivation, and this is perfect. You need this book. PERIOD.
— Corii Siren
I just wanna thank you for your amazing book. It changed my view on sex work—I don’t feel so afraid now about my future. I’m sure you’ve changed the lives of many people like me.
— The Nymph
Just got “Thriving in Sex Work” today and have been face-planted in it ever since— LOLA YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!! I’ve never met you before, but I wanna!
— Ernestine Pastorello
I have so many highlighted passages, and as someone who’s been in the Biz for a long time, IT HITS HOME ON SO MANY LEVELS.
Love, love, LOVE!!!
— Domina Saraya
A HUGE THANK YOU FOR TOUCHING MY LIFE. The more people empowered by your book, the better. Touching and relevant across continents and generations. Empowered intelligent workers leading the sisterhood by example is a great gift. After 30 years in the industry, I thought I’d read all there was to read. But your book is just special. I was touched to tears by the section of letting go of anger. YEP- I really, REALLY LOVED IT!!
— Anna Gold
I read your book from cover to cover yesterday. FUCKING THANK YOU! You’ve joined the ranks of the women I’d like to be like someday!
— Amie Petite
Puts a lot in perspective and [helps to] build up my confidence. I FEEL AFFIRMED AND INCLUDED IN A LOVING WAY THAT’S PRECIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL.
Thank you.
— V.W.
Really great. Very positive without sugar-coating things. LOTS OF REAL SEX WORK ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHO LIVED IT.
— Rikochan!
I cannot recommend that you follow Lola Davina and read her book highly enough.  Self-care must be your top priority in this industry. EVERYTHING THIS AMAZING WOMAN HAS TO SAY IS SO RELEVANT, FROM THE COMPLETE BEGINNER TO THE OVER-QUALIFIED!
— Mistress Julia
THIS SHOULD BE THE BIBLE FOR ALL SEX WORKERS. Helped me put a lot of thoughts into perspective. Thank you so much!
— Jett Muse
LOLA DAVINA’S BOOK NAILS IT FOR NON-SEX WORKERS TOO. It is heart-felt, thought-provoking, and revelatory. As a member of the LGBTQ community, Ms. Davina taught me a lot about the stigma, shame, etc. I carry. Thank you, Ms. Davina, for your amazing work and effort. It has helped me understand myself and others more.”
— Nunya
BEST READ EVER!!
This book was amazing!! EXTREMELY helpful, incredibly informative, and really changed the course of my business. Thanks, Lola, for being open and honest about your life, and sharing your knowledge and advice.
— Savannah Styles
Reading cover to cover. Some doesn’t apply to me anymore as I mostly only do phone sex, but damn, you do give good advice. As someone who works from home and sometimes feels isolated, your book is reminding me that I’m not all alone.
I CLOSED THE BOOK FEELING LOVED.
— Robin Wildheart
Your book is my Bible right now. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT.
— Sydney Carter
A PORTABLE COACH FOR THE PRICE OF A TAKEOUT LUNCH.
— Alie Archer
I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT... HONEST, UNJUDGMENTAL, INSPIRING!
I love how it was written for folks in the business, and covered so many aspects of the industry. The most relatable sex work book I’ve read yet!
— Ms. Manda
This book is amazing.
GENUINELY WONDERFUL AND HELPFUL.
— Miss Allana Mae
So well written and FILLED WITH LOVE AND ENCOURAGEMENT!
— Lady Jacklyn
You inspired me to come out of hiding.
#SEXWORKERPRIDE
— Serenity Lux
Such a good book— I read it front to back. I COULDN’T PUT IT DOWN!”
— Hailey Heartless
Lola, I read your book yesterday cover to cover. FUCKING THANK YOU! You’ve joined the ranks of the women I’d like to be like someday!
— Amie Petite
I DEVOURED THIS BOOK.
You can feel the author’s kindness throughout, and I continued to read even the parts that didn’t pertain to me because of that caring attention. It’s funny that when you sell companionship for a living it can be a lonely life, but that is the truth of it. This book is like having an older sister who’s got their sh** together so their advice means alot.
There is something about the way Lola normalizes this job - one that is largely misunderstood - that feels real. Being a sole proprietor is hard, no matter what service you are selling. Every job has industry specific challenges. Acknowledging that sexwork isn’t easy money and is emotional not just physcial labor is incredibly validating. And that frankness... somehow it helps me “get over myself” when I get too “woe is me” to pick up the phone.
Lola is clearly the real deal, not just a ‘tourist’ who escorts for a year then writes a book to be shocking and edgy. This book feels like it’s written by someone who’s spent real time as a provider and came out the other end sane and happy (and presumably financially sound). I’m looking forward to the physical book so I don’t have to read it on my phone.
I highly recommend this book to women who have been escorting as their main occupation for several years, but I REALLY WISH I HAD ACCESS TO IT IN THE BEGINNING OF MY CAREER!
— Sophie Christina, 20-year veteran
THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL BOOK.
Thank you for the hard work, energy and goodness
you put into it.
— Karla Jones
Lola, you’ve inspired me to continue reading, growing, and killing it as a sex worker.
If you haven’t read ‘Thriving in Sex Work’ yet,
DO IT.
— Luxx Lavender
Insightful and warm and practical and inclusive. It’s going to help a lot of people. <3
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
— Natalie Blackwood
THIS WOMAN IS TRULY INSPIRATIONAL.
Buy her book— it’s fantastic, and so knowledgeable.
— Miss Bella
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! SUCH GOOD ADVICE!!!
— Amelie Bacall
I can relate to your experience on so many levels and wish I had a website like this one you’ve created when I was just starting out because I would definitely do things differently and practice more self care! I truly believe that you have a gift to share and that YOUR WORDS AND WISDOM WILL HELP SO MANY PEOPLE IN THE FIELD OF SEX WORK.”
— M.H.
Excellent read. WOULD RECOMMEND TO ALL SEX WORKERS.
— Miss Blair Woods
A MUST-HAVE SELF-CARE BOOK. It applies to everyone. If you been looking for a non-fluffy self help book, THIS IS THE BOOK TO BUY!
— Angelique Luna, Host of "Living a Sex Positive Life"


Images


News Letter

Sign up for my occasional newsletter for even more Lola goodness!


Lola in the News

Podcasts, publications, and appearances... oh my!


Drag & Hat.jpg