More Lola Goodness
Podcasts, publications, and appearances... Oh my!
Peepshow podcast w/PJ & Jessie
July 22, 2018
A terrific, free-wheeling "meta" conversation with PJ & Jessie of Peepshow Podcast. In the wake of SESTA/FOSTA, self-care for sex workers is as hot a topic as ever. Grab your earpods and listen in!
Quoted in Vice.com (Quebec edition)
July 5, 2018
Prendre soin de sa santé mentale quand on est escorte et sans psy ouvert d’esprit Article by Mélodie Nelson, quoting extensively from Thriving in Sex Work, translated into French, about the importance of self-care in sex work.
Podcast with Dionysian dialectics
June 24, 2018
A TWO HOUR conversation with Alex Quaresma of Dionysian Dialectics-- what didn't we talk about? Alex and I hit it off hugely-- check us out!
Article for YNOTcam.com: The Benefits of Small Business Ownership
June 11, 2018
Guess what? Camming means you're a small business owner! Small business ownership can definitely be challenging, but what are some of the benefits?
Quoted in Vice.com/Vice Australia
June 5, 2018
The Sex Workers Helping Their Female Clients Come Out Personal fav topic: Female clients reaching out to sex workers to explore their same-sex desires. Article by Sofia Barrett-Ibarria.
Quoted in huffingtonPost.com
June 6, 2018
Most Democrats Don’t Take Sex Workers’ Rights Seriously. That’s Finally Starting To Change. In the ocean of bad news in the wake of SESTA/FOSTA, a ray of hope: Democratic candidates that are taking the concerns of sex workers and their rights and protections seriously. Article by Daniel Marans and Jenavieve Hatch.
Quoted in huffingtonPost.com
May 29, 2018
First Congress Took Sex Workers’ Websites. Now It’s Coming For Their Bank Accounts. As if SESTA/FOSTA weren't enough of a nightmare, new legislation is winding its way through Congress with wide bipartisan support looks to choke off traditional banking avenues for all sex workers, whether they are voluntary/survival or trafficked. Rescue us from the rescuers! Article by Jenavieve Hatch.
Quoted in washingtonPost.com
May 21, 2018
Want to figure out the rules of sexual consent? Ask sex workers. *Terrific* article by Jessie Patella-Rey on consent culture and all that sex workers have to teach on the subject.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Getting Enough Sleep
May 10, 2018
You need to sleep! Not sleeping can have some seriously negative effects on your health, well-being and life-performance.
Quoted in Broadly.Vice.com
April 2, 2018
6 Sex Workers Explain How Sharing Client Lists Saves Lives Article by Kitty Striker talking about the damage done to sex worker blacklists and other forms of online protection in the wake of SESTA/FOSTA.
Article for YNOTcam.com: SESTA: What Does It Mean for Webcam?
April 2, 2018
The U.S. Congress recently passed SESTA. And though this situation is fluid and complex, we are already seeing its impact -- even in cam. Here's some of what you need to know.
Quoted in huffingtonpost.com
March 26, 2018
Sex Trafficking Bills Backed By Dem Presidential Contenders Could Cause More Harm Than Good Super smart article by Jenavieve Hatch on the unintended consequences of SESTA/FOSTA legislation. Too bad Kamala Harris and Kristy Gillibrand weren't listening to the folks who actually do the work.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Ask Lola: Farewell to Fair Weather Friends
March 12, 2018
What do you do when your "friend" freaks out about about your work? I offer some ideas, including ideas about assessing the friendship in the first place.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Ask Lola: Not-So-Positive Feedback
February 15, 2018
"Other people’s opinions aren’t truth. They're just bits of information." How to detach from less-than-constructive-criticism.
Article for YNOTcam.com: Setting Goals in 2018
January 8, 2018
2018 is here, like, now. Celebrate opportunity in the new year by mapping out your goals and gettin' after it.
Article for Ynotcam.com: Staying Healthy on Cam This Winter (Part II)
December 7, 2017
Winter and holiday obligations can be stressful, straining our schedules, budgets, and moods, making it that much harder to get our sexy on. In camming, we can’t afford to ignore the mind-body-business connection, so we have to take extra care of ourselves this time of year.
Podcast with Dyann of the Body House
December 3, 2017
Dyann of The Body House Podcast and I meet up again to discuss Thriving in Sex Work. Dyann always has something fascinating to say about client dynamics-- together we explore ways clients are socialized to act out, and strategies as sex workers to make them better human beings.
Canadian Outreach Group Hopes To Help Improve Sex Worker Safety With A Mobile App by amanda Ocasio
November 30, 2017
Interview with Amanda Ocasio of the Queens Free Press about an intriguing new app designed to help sex workers in rural or marginalized communities check in with their support network.
Article for Ynotcam.com: Staying Healthy on Cam This Winter (Part I)
November 20, 2017
Summer is all about sunscreen and hydration. Winter months are all about staying healthy, active and balanced to keep your body — and your business — in top shape.
Thriving available at jizlee.bigcartel.com
Meeting porn icon Jiz Lee was such a huge thrill for me (#lifegoals) They are a big fan of Thriving, so they're selling it over on their sex work-positive online bookstore, jizlee.bigcartel.com. It's the only place you can order an autographed copy-- get one for the sex worker in your life today!
Article for Ynotcam.com: I Don't Want to meet him & I don't want to lose him
October 3, 2017
One of my best fans keeps pressuring me to do things I don’t want to do, including meet IRL. I’m not going to, no matter what, because that’s a promise I made to my mom and my sister when I told them I was camming. (And I really don’t want to, anyway!) But he only lives two hours away, and he keeps wanting me to tell him about my real life. I’m worried he’s going to try and find me… I know I make him sound kind of terrible, but he really is a nice guy and tips me all the time. I don’t want to lose him as a fan!
TMI: Sex Worker Confidential at The Center for Sex & Culture
October 2, 2017
I am *not* a performer-- in fact, I'm the opposite of one. But Carol Queen and Gina Gold have been hosting the deliciously funny, no-holds-barred TMI: Sex Worker Confidential every other month for several years now. I've enjoyed the show as an audience member, but this time, I told my story of my first time as a working girl. I didn't barf or fall down, so I consider it a huge win!
Interview with Mistress Amberley PSO
September 14, 2017
If you make six figures a year doing phone sex, you better damned well be fun to listen to, and that's EXACTLY what Mistress Amberley is. I found her delightful voice and outlook on life charming-- and I know you will too! We discuss longevity in sex work, all the ups and down in being self-employed, and so much more-- check us out!
Article for ynotcam.com: When is it time to quit camming?
September 7, 2017
I’ve been camming for almost three years now and done well at it, but I know I can’t keep doing it forever. I keep thinking I need to make a change, but the thought makes me nervous. How do I know when it’s time to quit? --Notta Quitter
Interview with Dawn Serra of Sex Gets Real
September 3, 2017
The brilliant, ballsy, beautiful Dawn Serra of Sex Gets Real and I have a wide-ranging, fascinating conversation about the emotional labor that goes into sex work. How can you thrive as a sex worker, navigating the fact that you have no real safety while also performing erotic fantasies and sex at the same time? How can you care for yourself as clients bring in their pain, shame, and fear and expect you to heal them? We talk about the unrealistic expectations clients often come in with, being financially responsible, setting boundaries and trusting your gut, creating rituals to celebrate small and big wins, and a whole lot more.
Quoting Dawn: It's fascinating and practical. It's one of my favorite chats, and I think you'll hear why.
Interview with The Sexy Grammarian
August 12, 2017
Sexy G writes: "As a retired-and-out sex worker, Thriving in Sex Work: Heartfelt Advice for Staying Sane in the Sex Industry connects to straight to my heart. I’m so proud to introduce this valuable and vital resource to you. In this interview, Lola told me how she writes and what’s coming next. And her answer to my standard sexy writer interview question will blow you away."
Article for YNOT.cam: Wasting Time Scoping out the Competition online
August 1, 2017
In the modern age, the internet provides endless opportunities for us to follow other people’s public lives in ways that can make us feel like we don’t measure up. There’s even a fancy new term for it: Obsessive Comparison Syndrome. OCS is “a compulsion to compare oneself with others in a way that produces anxiety and depression.”
Long before the digital age, people made themselves sick by comparing themselves to others. The phenomenon is quite painful and can be exacerbated by online life. Furthermore, the urge can be particularly seductive — and destructive — for sex workers, including cam models.
Article for YNOT.cam: The Emotional Side of Money
July 22, 2017
While plenty of books and articles offer step-by-step advice about how to manage finances, most of us aren’t taught to examine how money (or the lack of it) makes us feel. The result is many of us have money blind spots, which can result in unrealistic expectations, magical thinking and bad decision-making. Sex and money are both emotionally charged, so as sex workers, we need to be doubly careful to assess our finances realistically.
Sex Work BB Podcast
July 3, 2017
I've been doing a lot of press lately with civilians to promote Thriving, but it was especially fun to speak with Kyra and Shaye, two fabulous cam gals of Sex Work BB Podcast. Their mission is to promote and support other cam artists-- they walk the walk as well as talk the talk. I'd happily hang with them any day of the week!
Real Feminist Stories Podcast
June 30, 2017
Cameron Airen of Real Feminist Stories is funny, witty, and smart-- my kinda woman! We have a terrific time discussing the intersection of feminism and sex work, along with shame, self-care, and emotional labor. If you're already a Cam fan, you'll learn more about her. If you're not, you'll find out why she's my new crush.
Article for YNOT.cam: Marketing Mindfully
June 12, 2017
You don’t need me to tell you advertising in the cam space is congested, contested, and confusing. But decisions we make today have potential repercussions—to our brand, our reputations, our sense of self—for years to come. So the stakes are high. This isn’t just our livelihoods we’re talking about—it’s our lives.
living a Sex Positive Life Podcast
May 10, 2017
I had a wonderful time talking for a full hour with sex-positive teachers Angelique and John Luna. We discussed intimacy, spirituality, the future of sex work, and, of course, my upcoming book, Thriving in Sex Work. They were bubbly and gracious hosts, and made me feel like a real rockstar-- check us out!
Article for YNOTcam: Dear Lola: Is Camming Sex work?
April 20, 2017
It depends on whom you ask, and the answer is a bit complicated.
Article for Ynotcam: Dear Lola: Friends IRL... Or NOt?
March 15, 2017
Dear Lola: Last month, I attended an industry conference. I was excited to go, because I’d only known two other cammers IRL. While I was there, I met another cam girl who only lives about a half hour away from me, and we hit it off right away. We had drinks one night and hung out the whole next day together. But I’ve texted her a bunch of times since I’ve been home, and she’s never texted me back. I really thought we were going to be friends! What did I do wrong?
Turning Pro: Bawdy Storytelling Podcast
February 8, 2017
I had no idea when I was asked to tell my story of my first time as a call girl at Dixie De La Tour's smashing Bawdy Storytelling evening that I'd end up on iTunes! But if you'd like to hear it, I'm part of Episode #17, Turning Pro. I didn't fall down, I didn't barf, and the audience really seemed to enjoy it.
Girl Boner Radio Podcast with August McLaughlin
February 2, 2017
I chatted for 20 the utterly charming August McLaughlin of the Girl Boner Podcast. She asked me all about Thriving-- so much of her work revolves around self-care and sexuality, so she asked fantastic questions. Episode: Sex Work & Self Care: Erotic Careers Can Be Rewarding.
This Damn World Podcast
February 1, 2017
I went to the SOMA studio of This Damn World and got to hang out with Matt and Dom and Aya for an hour, which was quite the goddam blast... They are a funny, salty crew, and they made me feel right at home. We talked about the politics of the week, and then got down to business to ask me all about everything I've every thought about sex work. Episode: Her Name Was Lola: Self Care in Sex Work.
Article for YNOYcam: Getting Motivated
January 30, 2017
Getting to create your own work schedule is great... in theory.
But how do you motivate yourself on those days when the last thing you want to do is get on cam? A bad attitude is bad for business. Here’s some advice on what to do when you just aren’t feeling it.
Podcast with Dyann of The Body House
January 18, 2017
A 40-minute interview with Dyann of The Body House, a hands-only erotic masseuse who works tirelessly to educate clients on how to better treat service providers. We had a far-ranging, terrific discussion about empathy, safety, and how important a president can be in modeling healthy masculinity.
Article for YNOTcam: Managing Harassment
February 28, 2017
Jerks happen-- we can’t just ignore them and hope they go away. We have to be proactive. I propose a three-step plan to keep the bastards from getting you down.
Article for YNOTCAM: New Year's Resolutions
January 2, 2017
Now is the time for making New Year’s resolutions. Here’s what I want for you in the coming year: more time, more money and more energy. So often it seems that to have more of one, we end up with less of the others. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are some tips for a fabulous 2017.
Announcement: I'm YNOTCAm's new Health & Wellness Columnist!
October 28, 2016
I'm tremendously honored to be asked to be a regular contributor to YNOTcam.com, writing about health and wellness for cammers! Health, balance, and sanity in sex work is my passion, and I look forward to sharing ways to achieve work/life balance.