Types of Clients: Part IV

Every once in a rare while, I’d encounter one of the dark ones, the sadists, the sociopaths, the ones I call the bastards. Bastards hate sex workers, although they very well might like the sex just fine. They take pleasure in verbal abuse, pushing past sexual limits, humiliation, or inflicting physical pain.

I used to answer my own phone and make my own appointments, and what I’d notice about these clients is the subtle but persistent attempts to stretch boundaries even before we’d met. Clues such as:

  • Cutting me off before I finished speaking.

  • Redirecting the conversation.

  • Refusing to answer my questions.

  • Negotiating hard for trivial concessions, like arriving at 3:55 p.m. instead of four o’clock.

  • Asking invasive questions like whether they would be my first client of the day or if I was just in a session when they called ten minutes ago.

These are the charmers who’d show up fifteen minutes early or half an hour late, with light envelopes and sob stories about their troubles with the A.T.M.

The only good thing about bastards is that they tend to be slightly off from the start. They’ll test you to see if you enforce your boundaries, and if so, they’re not interested. I only had a handful slip in under my radar over the years, and fortunately I’m still here in one piece.

Here’s a tell when you meet a bastard in person: They aren’t nervous. Most clients are, sometimes charmingly so. Nerves set people off-balance, make us tremble and move with uncertainty. We get embarrassed because we’ve lost some control.

Bastards aren’t nervous, because they’re not afraid. They’re jazzed. Amped up, edgy, alert. They’re excited, and they like excitement — it makes them feel alive. That’s a dangerous distinction.

I can’t say this enough — always, always, always trust your gut, have an exit strategy, and enough money in the bank to walk the fuck away from anyone who doesn’t smell right to you.

And finally, there’s the agenda-free client who treats you as an equal, seeks a mutually pleasurable sexual experience and nothing more, pays cheerfully and leaves right on time without any hint of lingering resentment. A rare breed in my book, but I did see it a few times. “Free Birds” maybe? Perhaps former sex workers themselves…